Tuesday, January 26, 2010


Today is a day of nevers. I have never felt more hated. I've never felt more betrayed. I've never felt more hurt. I've never felt more unimportant.


Loren basically decided today to stop talking to me. With no warning whatsoever. I haven't heard from him since this morning and it's all very weird to me. We've had a really good couple of weeks. We had a really good night last night, then all of a sudden this morning, something was different. He said he didn't want to talk about it and that he'd see me later, so I figured that he was telling the truth. Then he didn't respond anytime I tried to contact him all day. And then it turns out that he's blocked me on Facebook, and as far as I can tell I haven't done anything wrong. I've been myself, and apparently that hasn't been good enough. It's just frustrating cuz he won't talk to me at all. And so I may never know what I did to piss him off.
Also to add to things. Syd isn't talking to me either anymore. And again, I have no clue why. One day we were good, and the next we weren't. Which...ok...whatever...if she doesn't wanna talk to me anymore, I guess it's her prerogative. I just won't try to talk to her anymore.
And I've also decided to move to Pennsylvania for the summer which I've received a lot of support about, but after the summer. I have no ties anywhere anymore. I don't have a job to pull me somewhere, I don't have a boyfriend wanting me back, I don't have an apartment to get back to, I don't even know if I have friends wanting me back anywhere. I have almost TOO MANY options that I have to choose from, I don't know what to do about it. My life it very difficult right now and I'm feeling ready to explode...and to give up.

Things I hate right now:

don't even ask

Things I love right now:

this cup of hot chocolate sitting in front of me
laughter with angela, lindsey, and shayla tonight
my roommates support

No comments:

Post a Comment