Thursday, June 7, 2012

The Sad One

I should be posting about our WONDERFUL trip to DC, but that's not what's on my mind today so I'm not yet. :)

So I went to the doctor while I was in DC. My health insurance doesn't cover doctors in Idaho (silly I know) so I went to one in VA just because there were a few things I was worried about. The number one thing I was worried about was my hair loss. For the past few years I keep finding bald spots on my head.(The first time) I'm completely bald there for a few months then it starts to grow back. It's so annoying! Everytime I go to my dr here he prescribed amoxycicilan (sp) but I feel like there's more that needs to be done there. I hate just taking pills cuz he doesn't know what else it could be. So turns out I have an autoimmune disease called Alopecia Areata. Basically my body sees my hair as a virus and gets rid of it. Then it passes and the hair grows back. It's not anything that I can fix or cure and I might lose all my hair in time, but for now it's just an annoyance.
The other thing on my mind should have been a wonderful announcement. 3 weeks ago Loren and I found out we were pregnant again! Yay! We'd been "not trying not to have a baby" for about 5 months and we were SO excited at the prospect of being parents again. We got Aly a "big sister" shirt and had her wear it off the plane when we went to visit my parents and announced to them! I got all my blood work done where I could get it done for free. When we got back to Utah we told Loren's brother and sister-in-law the great news! Then told my aunt later that night too :). But Sunday morning I miscarried. It makes me numb to even think about it. We were even more excited than the last time. because this time we were actually trying to get pregnant. It's heartbreaking. I always heard about people miscarrying multiple times. A friend of mine miscarried 7 times! But I always thought, "oh, that doesn't happen in my family. We all have healthy, good pregnancies. I won't have a problem with this." And who knows. Maybe this is better; maybe something was wrong; or maybe something would have been bad down the road; maybe it would have been a really hard year; guess I'll never know. I just keep thinking, "What if this is it? What if Aly's meant to be an only child?" I guess she'll be one spoiled child. :) I love her so much and I'm so glad to have her in my life.

Maybe my next post will be happier and about our vacation? I'll try to get to it soon.

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