Wednesday, December 16, 2009


This is so flipping important to me right now. All I care is that I'm communicating with the people around me and that they're communicating back. I've finally realized that I have been very close-mouthed for a long time and I think I need to change. I'm ready to start standing up for myself and telling the people that I care about exactly what I think. It's time for me to start having an opinion and to start letting others know what I think. But I also think that the people in my life should start talking to me more also. I spend so much time wondering what people are really thinking and I really wish that there was a way for me to just get in their heads and find out. If they'd just open up to me everyonce in a while then I wouldn't have to wonder anymore! And it's just not one person if that's what you all are thinking. I can think of at least 5 people that I want to open up to me, but I'll be darned if it actually happens. So start baring your soul people! No one will hate you for being honest. Let me know what you're thinking and I'll reciprocate! :)

I've had the day off work today and it's been nice to get things done that needed to be. I took a SUPER long walk and got some shopping done, went to the bank, and did some cooking. I've started realizing how much I'm actually like my mom when it comes to home-making. I tend to feel the need to do the same things that she always did. It's been really nice lately too to have a bit of my old life and home here in my new one. I've got all my old christmas ornaments on our tree here and my mom's advent calendar in our living room. I've got a few old favorite movies from home here too, like Music Man! :) It just makes me happy to have both of these worlds kinda combined here for a little while. You don't think you're gonna miss home til you're away for a long time and the novelty of living on your own wears off. I've stopped trying to convince myself that I don't wanna be back there and just accepted that home and Idaho will always be a big part of me and that I do love it there and I'll always miss it.

Things I hate right now:

Cold feet
No vehicle

Things I love right now:

Kristen Chenoweth...however your spell her name she's amazing!!
Martina McBride...same :)
Orange Marbled Fudge...little tastes of home :)!!
Myself...I love the fact that emotionally I'm stable enough to hold myself together during rough times in my life. I wouldn't change that for anything! I'd certainly change what's happening to me right now tho...I also love that I can physically handle life after only 4 hours of sleep which is about all that I've gotten each night since around two weeks ago...

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